Category Archives: academics

Lesson 1: Who Knew Cutting Vegetables Could Be So Complicated?

In the locker room, we carefully unpacked the contents of our tote bags. Crisp white jackets with cloth knot buttons, wide-legged houndstooth pants and a cap to keep stray hairs in place. I carefully slipped the knots on the jacket in and out of the loops; it was a long, laborious process. “Wait a minute,” said the girl down the aisle, “The jackets are big enough that you can put them on without untying the buttons!” At the bottom of my bag, a neatly folded triangle of white cloth remained. “Is this a side towel? Or a napkin?” I asked. “Actually, I think it’s the neckerchief,” another student replied. “But I have no idea how to tie it on.”

I decided to shove my neckerchief in my pocket and go into the hallway, where the rest of my classmates were waiting. Some were chatting, some pacing, others taking selfies with their phones. Photos of famous chefs loomed behind us, and the Wall of Fame on the opposite side was decorated with the hand molds of renowned chefs. Eric Ripert, Thomas Keller, Bobby Flay and more. It was a reminder that the ICC is a living museum of food industry titans. Would any of us be future culinary superstars?

Inside our designated kitchen, Chefs Ray Dawson and Janet Crandall greeted us with smiles. Chef Ray introduced himself and explained that while we were off to a late start on the first day, he would expect us to be prompt in the future. “When I ask you to do something, you should show that you understand by responding, ‘Yes, Chef!’ Is that clear?” he said. “Yes, Chef!” we chorused. He began by guiding us through the proper way to tie our neckerchiefs. Cross the right hand over the left, switch hands, bring the right side over, loop it under and inside the knot. Let’s hope I remember how to do this next week.

“Some of you will get cut,” Chef Ray continued. “Some of you will get burned. Don’t be embarrassed, just tell us immediately and we’ll decide how to help you.” He began explaining each of the knives and tools in our kits. A chef’s knife, a slicer, a serrated knife, a boning knife (sturdy and firm), a fish knife (thin and flexible). A channel knife for citrus twists. Tweezers for removing fish bones. A Parisian scoop, aka a melon baller. It was as if Christmas had come early! I suddenly had tons of tools that I’d always wanted but couldn’t justify buying. In the corner of the room, a student cut himself while removing a knife from its guard. Chef Janet rushed over with a bandaid.

“Let’s talk about equipment,” Chef Ray continued. “This is a half sheet pan and a full sheet pan. This is a hotel pan, and these are square boys. You can fit 6 of them into a hotel pan. This is a russe (straight-sided sauce pan), this is a marmite (tall stock pot) and this is a sautoir (sloped sauté pan).” Although the school had changed its name away from being the French Culinary Institute, it was evident that French conventions were still the rule.

Taillage

After more warnings about the importance of sanitation (“do not use your fingers to taste something”) and safety (“you’re probably going to burn yourself in this class”), we launched into taillage, the art of uniform knife cuts. “Why is this important?” asked Chef Ray. “Two reasons: aesthetics and even cooking. The food will look great and be done at the same time.” He went on to expertly dice and mince a series of onions, carrots and turnips into precise pieces.

It was our turn to try out our new knives. I’ve been using a thin, straight, single-edged Japanese knife at home, so picking up a Western-style chef’s knife felt bulky. “Try to slice in a single motion instead of sawing back and forth,” said Chef Janet, as I struggled to ciseler my onion. Next, I tackled the carrot, squaring off sections and cutting rectangular tranches. Each tranche must be cut into long strips, then diced into uniform cubes. I showed my macédoine to Chef Ray. “Not bad,” he said, “but these are a little uneven, and a little too small. You’ll get there!”

I began trimming my vegetables more aggressively to get the most uniform shapes possible. My hefty turnip was soon whittled down to a small handful of fine brunoise cubes. “Well done!” said Chef Janet. The pile of vegetable trimmings left over was immense. I realize that I am an amateur at this, but I can only imagine that fine dining kitchens still generate a large amount of waste food scraps. At the ICC, we carefully saved all the onion and carrot trimmings for making stocks, however all of the turnip pieces went to compost because there was no way to use so many turnips.

We took a break for dinner, cooked by the level 4 students, then returned for the second half of class, a demonstration of cooking à l’anglaise (ahead of time) and à la minute (on the spot). As my partner and I were cooking our second batch of carrots, we left a pan on the burner for a little too long. When he added the carrots to the pan, the butter flared up and flames shot toward the ceiling. My partner’s arm shot out and he twisted the burner knob down. The flames subsided and I looked around. Neither of the chefs had noticed, and the carrots didn’t seem any worse for being lightly flambéed. We presented our plate to Chef Ray, and I apologized for the carrots being underseasoned. “I think they’re seasoned fine actually,” he said, “however, do you see this butter pooling on the bottom of the plate? We’re not focusing on presentation yet, but in the future, you would want to drain the carrots on a paper towel to prevent that.”

Next week: stocks, sauces, and inventing a square turnip.

So You Think You Can Cook: Signing Up for Culinary School

A Spooky Eyeball Caprese
A Spooky Eyeball Caprese

For a year while attending the University of Gastronomic Sciences, I was constantly asked, “How’s culinary school? Are you going to be a chef?” I would patiently explain that no, that’s not really what gastronomy is about.

Don’t get me wrong, I spent A LOT of time cooking during that year, with some of the freshest, most affordable produce I’ve ever seen in my life. Our class potlucks were lavish, internationally diverse and subtly competitive; everyone worked hard to bring their A-game to the table. Since coming to New York (land of take-out and tiny kitchens), I have yet to be surrounded by cooks in the same intensity and density.

Lately, I’ve been mulling over what it means to holistically understand food, from seed to table, and it’s clear that while I can certainly eat and criticize plates in front of me, I don’t have the foundational knowledge that a chef holds about how to build a dish. I can follow a recipe and have cranked out some impressive pieces in the past, but it feels derivative rather than truly creative.

So it’s time to go back to school, this time for the subject that everyone assumes I’ve already covered. New York’s leading culinary schools include the International Culinary Center (formerly French Culinary Institute) and the Institute of Culinary Education. I was looking for the most rigorous program I could get, without committing to a year-long culinary program. After all, I don’t intend to become a full-time chef (so far). After some research and speaking to a friend who went through the program, I settled on the Culinary Techniques course at ICC. It’s a 110 hour program, and I’ll be taking the classes after work, twice a week from 5:45-10:45 pm. The most attractive part is that it’s essentially equivalent to the first level of the culinary program at ICC, and you have the option to transfer into the professional program if you pass an entrance exam.

They’ll be handing me knives and chef whites when the first class starts on Thursday. Let’s hope I’m not the first person to cut themselves!

A Brutally Honest Review of the University of Gastronomic Sciences

PLEASE READ: My original assessment of the UNISG masters program in 2011 is below, but I am thrilled to hear from current students/staff that UNISG has made significant progress in the years since I was a student there!

Sept. 2017: Michele Fino, a professor of law at UNISG, reached out to me to send an update on the UNISG masters program. It has been appended below.

April 2018: A masters student at UNISG reached out to me to send very detailed updates on the program. Their info has been appended below, and they will send an additional update at the conclusion of the program. I have kept their name confidential for privacy reasons.

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This is a cathartic rant disguised as a meticulously planned assessment.

Over the past year, I have fielded questions from dozens of prospective students at the University of Gastronomic Sciences (UNISG). They sent heartfelt messages, wanting to know everything from what the classes are like, to whether vegetarians will be slapped in the face with a piece of prosciutto. I carefully replied to every email that was sent to me, giving answers that I felt were judicious while catering to the writer’s sensibilities. See, by the time most people have discovered UNISG, they have fallen in love with the school already, and idealize it as foodie heaven on Earth. Which to be fair, in many respects, it is.

I am not going to discuss the warm and fuzzy parts today; the rest of my blog does that already. Instead, I am going to give a completely uncensored portrait on what it’s like to be in the Food Culture & Communications (FCC) masters program at UNISG.

This piece will not make me popular, and effectively shoots myself in the foot, but I am a big believer in the Louis Brandeis adage that sunshine is the best disinfectant. It should go without saying that the views expressed herein are my own, and not necessarily supported by other UNISG students or the administration.
Continue reading A Brutally Honest Review of the University of Gastronomic Sciences

What the Hell is Gastronomy, Anyway?

May 2010

It’s the million-dollar question that everyone in my program has faced, yet no one seems to have a definitive answer. I have certainly given my 30-second elevator rendition of what gastronomy is (“Well er, it’s not cooking school, it’s sort of about the analysis of food’s role in the world…”), but I still have niggling doubts over whether I am simply talking out of my ass. Which is why I was secretly relieved when we had a seminar on gastronomy and its meaning.

Where do we begin? The English Wikipedia article on gastronomy begins with a broad definition, stating simply that “gastronomy is the study of the relationship between culture and food.” This begs the question of what is culture, but at least it provides a viable starting point for analyzing the breadth of gastronomy. On the other hand, the French Wikipedia article on gastronomy begins with the definition established by the Académie Française, which suggests that gastronomy is the set of social rules that define l’art de faire bonne chère, or the art of giving good cheer. Hmm, that isn’t nearly as engaging a subject.

Then, we launched into a discussion of food porn. Everyone in the class had heard of the phrase, but no one was brave enough to offer a definition. So, we paused to consider the characteristics of sexual pornography. This is definitely a subject befitting serious schoolars, because after all, even the Supreme Court has ruminated over the difference between obscene pornography and art. After some discussion, we decided that porn has many facets, but is generally in some way exploitative, features an idealized representation, and allows for distanced or vicarious enjoyment of the subject. In the same fashion, food porn offers an idealized portrayal of food held at a distance from the viewer. Though perhaps the tomato is not being exploited in the same way that actors in a porn film are.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZVAqNuFXIQ&hl=en_US&fs=1&]

Hmm, I’m not sure if I am any more enlightened than when I started, so I’m just going to sit on this for the next year or so…
Continue reading What the Hell is Gastronomy, Anyway?

The Slow Evolution of Fast Money

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Shamefully, it has been a month since I last posted, but at least the thesis brouhaha is over. I spent much of this weekend preparing slides for the presentation next week, and graduation for our class of gastronomes is set for Friday the 13th. Apparently, 13 is not an inauspicious number in Italian culture, however 17 is.

If you are interested in seeing the slides and some dizzying spatial effects, you can check out the presentation in Prezi.

Thesis, or Reasons to Stay Late at the Office on Friday Night

Lately, all my writing energy has been devoted to working on this damn thesis, due on May 6th. I just want to get the thing written and turned in, so that I can move on with other projects.

Already, I’ve had to trim lots of interesting material that isn’t entirely relevant out of fear that this will turn into a book. Only a select few of you will find this topic totally absorbing, but I’ll post a tentative abstract here to ward off the inevitable questions.

Title: The Slow Evolution of Fast Money: A Fresh Approach to Sustainable Investment

Abstract: The Industrial Revolution heralded an age of unprecedented environmental damage and social tolls driven by commercial activity. We can move toward a restorative economy through careful placement of investment funds in socially responsible businesses that focus on more than bottom line profits. The microfinance industry in developing countries and the Slow Money movement in the U.S. are two examples of business models that aspire to move away from the traditional profit-driven financial paradigm. However, they are relatively unproven and are prone to the pitfalls of commercialist mission-drift. Study of these experiments provides lessons to be learned for future models of sustainable finance.

In case you’re wondering, what does this have to do with food or gastronomy, the answer is: it doesn’t. I simply felt like dipping back into the econ fold for a while.